Whoa, you're back!!

Yes, I know that it has been forever and a day since I've updated... (actually only a month and a half or so, but who's counting??) I've had a lot going in my personal life, including a lot happening in my spiritual journey, so that's what I'll share with y'all.

Now as my last blog post said, on the 18th of September, I led worship solo. Just me. And I'm fine admitting that I was scared out of my mind. What if I completely messed up the service? What if I did something wrong? What if I forgot something? What if someone asked me a question and I couldn't answer it?

That morning, I arrived at the church around 8 in the morning. Service didn't start til 11, and there was no Sunday School, but the routine of showing up and getting ready was something I needed. I made sure that the sermon was still on the pulpit and that it was in the correct order. I made sure I knew all of the hymns that we were singing that day. Looked to see that the prayer book was ready on the alter. And then I prayed. I spent about 45 minutes sitting in the sanctuary asking God to remind me that He was with me, and asking Him to help me not screw up.

Then, people started showing up. I went over the changes in the service with our choir director and our organist. Since I am not yet an ordained minister in the Church of Christ, I couldn't preside at Communion, and the wording of the Confession and Forgiveness. The council president, Bill, walked up to me standing by the alter and said "The book goes in the center of the alter when we're not having communion." So of course, I just slipped it to the center and prayed that no one noticed the almost mistake. Bill also said that he would help me with the announcements at the beginning of the service, which was a big help to me.

Before I knew it, it was 11am, and time for service to start. After explaining to anyone who might have been confused that I was NOT Pastor Rosemary, I went through the changes in the service with the congregation. Bill took over from there, and then announcements were done. It was time for the first big part of the service, and up until the very moment I started talking, I was scared. But as I was speaking the words of confession, peace washed through me. Suddenly, I was not afraid. It felt right, like it was what I was suppose to be doing. The rest of the service went along fine. Yes, there were a few mess-ups. But overall, it went really well.

As many of you know, after my internship ended I was leaning more towards possibly becoming a diaconal minister or an AIM, but not necessarily a pastor. However, after my experience that Sunday, I have brought back the idea of becoming a pastor. I'm still talking with God, or moreso listening to God, trying to discern His path for me, but I think I may be closer now.

God's Peace be with you.